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June 01, 2011
I'm back.
I've been on facebook. I haven't been here in awhile. I finally got my disabiliy. So I am not able to work now. I go to the fitness center alot to workout because the med I am on causes weight gain. We thought I was diabetic for awhile. My test, a1c shows my blood level is 5.9. I guess that's good. I was dealing w/some real private stuff but it is getting better. I can say I was helped by the healing blood of Jesus Christ. Well get back to you later.
 

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March 26, 2008
Bus
Last Thursday, the day before Good Friday, I had an weird experience. I was driving bus and had dropped off all the children. I was making a left hand turn when the fire extinguisher fell off the bus wall and discharged. I finished making the turn. I could not see and parked the bus. I had to guess which button was the right gear and then I put on my air brakes.
The door to the bus was blocked by the trash can that fell at the same time. I couldn't see or breathe. I opened the side window and put my head out to breathe. You could not see anything in the bus. Talk about a panic attack. A lady at Taco John's asked me if I needed help. Probably because the bus looked like it was on fire. I asked her to open my back door because I wanted to get that vapor of dust or whatever it was out of the bus. I put my head back in the bus and still could not see. Finally, somehow I got the bus door opened and got out of the bus. I was covered in white dust. The bus was a mess. I am just glad the bus was empty of kids and that I made my turn w/out any accident. Another bus came up behind me and the driver seen all the smoke coming out the back of my bus and thought the bus was on fire. She got in my bus and grabbed the fire extinguisher and said where's the fire. I said there's no fire the f___ing extinguisher went off. So she stood there and laughed her ass off. I didn't think it was funny.
I would say this is one of the scarest things that happened in a long time.
 

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Day of Transition
Yesterday, Bill's dad, Jason died. We saw him Easter Sunday and following Monday. He was ok Easter morning but not so well the other times we visited him. He had cancer of the esophagus. They had been tube feeding him because he could not swallow nothing. That must be terrible not to eat or drink. I think not being not able to drink would be the worst.
Last night at 4:45 is when the VA nursing home called us. Jason died at 4:30. He his in a better place now. His wishes were to have him cremated.
So life goes on and we will miss him.
 

Comments:

Gail, I'm so sorry for your loss. Cancer is a horrible thing. I'll keep you all in my prayers.
 
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January 18, 2008
It's Freezing
We have been having temps 20 to 40 degrees. But today is cold. Brr. The temp is 2 degrees. Yesterday it was about 10 degrees but the wind was blowing and it felt really freezing. My legs are cold now as I type. The room where the PC is has one wall heater and it is on the other side of the room.
I have to go out. Shit. Because I have to drive bus. Then I'll be complaining I'm hot. Because the diesel, once it warms up, gets really warm or should I say hot. I never wear my coat when I'm driving.
I'm working on another quilt. It is an angel theme. It is for my granddaughter Elizabeth. Then I will have Lucas, Austin, and Bruce left. After that I want to make a crazy quilt.
I told Bill if he didn't get this collection of electronics and junk out of the house by the end of summer I was going to get my own apartment. He said I shouldn't threaten him like that. I told him he can come over anytime, but he can't bring anything w/him. I don't want no clutter. It clutters my mind and makes it hard to think.
 

Comments:

It's not right to make you live like that! You have always been a very neat and tidy person, who kept a nice, clean home. Always organized in everything you did. Living in chaos is hurting you. Do what you need to do that is best for you! Tell him it isn't a threat, it's just the truth. He has to choose between his junk and you.
 
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January 07, 2008
Politics
It is so nice to go online on my laptop. Especially when I get lazy. I hope I don't run out of battery power before I write this. Bill is still working on the wire router, I'm on the wireless right now. I listening to serous radio. The far left of course. I like listening to Lynn Samuel's. But does she have a mouth on her. I also been watching the Republican and democrat debates in NH. I like Obama, but he doesn't have any experience. Edwards not to sure of. Hillary might be the one, but she is lagging behind Obama. I really don't like Hillary. If Obama wins the primary, I hope McCain wins the republican 'cause I will have to maybe vote with him.I shouldn't get ahead of myself, the primary isn't until February 5.
Here is a blog to go to. It is about a soldier who wrote a blog about his death. He had a friend post it in the event of his death. It is very interesting.
http://andrewolmsted.com/archives/2008/01/final_post.html
 

Comments:

What does experience have to do with anything? Are you saying you won't vote for Obama or what?

Laters

Go shine your sink! Mine has been shiny for 9 days now. :D
 

I'm going with Dennis Kucinich through the California primary. After that I'll sit back and see which Dem wins it all.

I admire McCain for his integrity but can't bring myself to vote for him. We disagree on too much.
 
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January 05, 2008
Another day
I guess my last blog was kind of negative. I will have to work on that attitude this new year.
I just finished making a rag quilt. I was going to send it to my grandson, Austin, but it turned out smaller than I thought. I'm sending it to my grandson, Jacob, 'cause he is smaller. I'll make something different for Austin.
Bill is busy today wiring the house for a network to hook up a router so we can go online downstairs. We have a wireless one but it won't work downstairs.
I just installed Sudoku in my PC. Another addiction. I go from one to another.
Nothing else much going on, except trying to save money to go to my daughter's wedding in NY.
 

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January 01, 2008
Happy New Year
It's 2008. I hope this is better than the last 8 years. Living in this shit hole town doesn't help. Too many republicans. Bad place for a democrat.
I'm going to try to eat less. Bitch less. Give of myself more.
Try to write more here.
I forget all about it. Or I'm too lazy.
I'm going to my daughter's wedding in June. Need to save money. I need not to have an anxiety attack. Cause when I get them I don't want to go. I don't know how I ever made it too Texas to see my other daughter last may. I did have fun, through.
 

Comments:

I am always to lazy too. I am not sure if I can go to the wedding or not. Maybe try figuring out what you are panicking about exactly. The traveling? Seeing your family? Going to NY and being sad? Regretting your situation? Hopelessness? Maybe if you recognize the emotion associated with the panic attack you might figure out the cause. IF you know the trigger, you may be able to calm down or prevent them.
 
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November 11, 2007
Who am I
Do you ever look in the mirror and wonder who you are. I don't mean physical image. Just who you are inside.
I don't recognize me sometimes. At times, I wonder where I went. The fun loving girl, now women. Is it age.
Sometimes I think it might be my psych meds. I feel they take away my feelings. Some how feel empty inside. A big dark, black void where my emotions were. They upped my meds again!
It is not a happy feeling. There are days where things seem a little better.
The days fly by and then they drag. Memories of recent past doesn't work well. I remember things from years ago, through.
I quess we just change from year to year.
 

Comments:

We do change although sometimes I don't notice unless I happen to look in a mirror.

If you're talking to Dawn, say hi for me. I haven't heard from her in a couple of weeks and hope she's doing well.
 

I have memory problems too. I think it is the crazy in us, lol.

:P

New blog address:
http://lavenderdaydreams.com/lavsblog/
 
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