September 05, 2006
In the Wilderness
Sometimes I feel like an Israelite wandering in wilderness. I go in circles and never get any where spiritually or emotionally. Sometimes I feel dead inside. I use to really have a zest for life and be on fire for the lord. When something bad happens in my life I turn to God instantly for help. Well, sometimes. Sometimes I blame God for everything that is wrong in my life. It is wonder sometimes that he hasn't stuck me dead with things I've said. But I know he his a loving God and a forgiving God. I just wish I had the first love like when I first got saved. I'm a lazy Christian, I can't stay committed to it. But then again, it is hard to me to stay committed to anything. Maybe a lot of it has to do with my depression or maybe it is Satan. Who knows. I don't want to give Satan that much glory.
Stay committed, I've been married three times. The first one I married for the wrong reason, he his my daughter, Dawn's father. He has passed on. The second was, I don't even want to talk about. The third, I would say his my soul mate. We get on good, even through we can sure get on each other nerves sometimes. But he understands me. I'm not an easy person to get along with. I have mood swings. But, Bill loves me and accepts me for who I am. Maybe that is why I like working with people with developmental disabilities, because they accept people for who they are. They don't sit there in judgment. They love you for you. I guess I'm just rambling tonight.
Well, enough said. I'm typing on my laptop. I don't like the keyboard because my desktop has a split keyboard. I'm so used to that, that this is hard to type on. Plus, I'm downstairs using a dumb modem the internet cable is upstairs.
Comments:
Gail I love the make over! It is really great! I am so glad you have a sweet daughter like Dawn to help you through this blogger mess. It can be a bit too much sometimes!
I do understand your depression and moods. Having lived that way for a lot of my life! And at the darkest moments it is very hard to not put the blame on God and be frustrated with our faith. I am so there right now! But I am finding that by reading other blogs filled with joy, holding my Bible close and reading it and continuing to pray even when I don't feel like it, things do get better! Let's just focus on the good things, the good thoughts, and let the others go on the wayside! Take care and have a great day!
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Stay committed, I've been married three times. The first one I married for the wrong reason, he his my daughter, Dawn's father. He has passed on. The second was, I don't even want to talk about. The third, I would say his my soul mate. We get on good, even through we can sure get on each other nerves sometimes. But he understands me. I'm not an easy person to get along with. I have mood swings. But, Bill loves me and accepts me for who I am. Maybe that is why I like working with people with developmental disabilities, because they accept people for who they are. They don't sit there in judgment. They love you for you. I guess I'm just rambling tonight.
Well, enough said. I'm typing on my laptop. I don't like the keyboard because my desktop has a split keyboard. I'm so used to that, that this is hard to type on. Plus, I'm downstairs using a dumb modem the internet cable is upstairs.
Comments:
Gail I love the make over! It is really great! I am so glad you have a sweet daughter like Dawn to help you through this blogger mess. It can be a bit too much sometimes!
I do understand your depression and moods. Having lived that way for a lot of my life! And at the darkest moments it is very hard to not put the blame on God and be frustrated with our faith. I am so there right now! But I am finding that by reading other blogs filled with joy, holding my Bible close and reading it and continuing to pray even when I don't feel like it, things do get better! Let's just focus on the good things, the good thoughts, and let the others go on the wayside! Take care and have a great day!
